10 Beautiful Words About Love That Don’t Exist in English



1. Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan, an indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego): The wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start.


2. Yuanfen (Chinese): A relationship by fate or destiny. This is a complex concept. It draws on principles of predetermination in Chinese culture, which dictate relationships, encounters and affinities, mostly among lovers and friends.


3. Cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese): The act of tenderly running your fingers through someone’s hair.


4. Retrouvailles (French):  The happiness of meeting again after a long time.


5. Ilunga (Bantu): A person who is willing to forgive abuse the first time; tolerate it the second time, but never a third time.

la douleur exquise

6. La Douleur Exquise (French): The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.

koi no yokan

7. Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall…

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Rediscovering the power of my own body

This picture really reminds me that it’s the little things that make the most difference. Numbers on a scale don’t make me feel any better or worse about myself. I wear confidence as a crown. Thanks mama!! What I value is how I feel my body responding differently, more receptively, to the things I love doing. #HeartHealthTurnedUP

there is a very REAL ‘queer’ undertone to this talk on (african) feminism. there is something for absolutely everyone to connect with, and i truly believe that is Adichie’s greatest strength. She uses the language of inclusion and ally-ship so well. so many of the things she is saying ring true to my life philosophy.

favourite quotes:

“we stifle the humanity of boys”

“we teach boys to be afraid of fear”

“weight of gender expectations”

“the language of marriage is often a language of ownership rather than a language of partnership”

“gender colours the way we experience the world”

“we teach girls shame”

“girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. girls grow up to be women who silence themselves”

“we have turned pretense into an artform”

“culture does not make people, people make culture”

“i have chose to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness & femininity”

The Amazing Health Benefits of Coconut Oil

Coconut oil is a healthy, nutritious oil made from coconut meat. But if you’ve followed the advice of the medical industry and the media for the past 50 years, you’ve probably heard to stay away from saturated fats like those in coconut oil because they can lead to things like high cholesterol, heart disease and diabetes.

Saturated Fats

Unfortunately, what’s lacking in this medical advice is the distinction between different forms of saturated fats. The truth is that not all saturated fats are created equal. All fats are categorized as either short-, medium-, or long-chain. The saturated fats in coconut oil are about two-thirds medium-chain fatty acids, making them easily digestible, beneficial to the immune system, and giving them anti-microbial properties. The majority of fats consumed in our diet are long-chain fatty acids, whether they’re saturated or unsaturated.

Now back to the statement, “not all saturated fats are created equal.”…

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life & times in gidi…

as i decompress from the amazing trip to gidi, i can’t help but reflect on Patricia, the woman I met while working out in the estate park 1 morning, who so hates herself & her body that she wired her jaw shut to prevent her 1, from getting the adequate nutrition her body needs to be healthy and 2, in a misguided attempt to loose weight, not realising her body will go into survivor mode and store more fat 3, has impaired her speach that you can only hear if you’re standing right next to her 4, her self hate reaches the crown of her head. she told me if a i referred her to natural hair salon (weave and chemical straightener free) she would run for dear life…

then there was galaxy who seemed to think that a friend and i were his personal peeping-tom-tube for the night, and that he could press play and  be instantly gratified.

then there was the incident with Arik air, which has restored my belief in the depths that some folks sink to, to practice 419, and with such impunity.

then there was the beauty of gathering with sisters on home soil to just basque in all that we are, hope to be, and slide under or tap dance all over the radar as.

then there was the sausage roll at araba’s bake shop

then there was the family time, which so replenished me

then there was the dancing till my thighs, waist and hips hurt. almost put the dancers out of business for the night

then there’s the fact that gidi humidity works wonders for my skin and hair, but breaks my nails.

then there was the chance to re-connect with NYC loves.

then there was bumping into Asa at the airport and having a really nice bondin moment, like u know that feeling when you really meet someone, like all of them, and it mostly happens in the pauses between breaths and words

then drinks with MI, although i have to say Dj l’gini was more in my scope

then there was networking with folks within and without my current field

then there was the individual who became a leech, give and inch and they want to take a mile

eventually i’ll be able to figure out what all these moments together represent for me. but for the moment i’ll say life in Gidi never quite feels real. it imitates form impression of an alternate existence that i’m not sure i’m altogether comfortable with. between the scent of suya and boli on the air, to the copious amounts of money that hop through clenched fists on a millisecond basis, to the atmosphere bottlenecked by (missed) opportunities, lagos to me is quite simply exquisite and precarious living in elegant chaos. sometimes it pulls you in and spits you out in the same breath.

its quite the mindphuck…and i can’t wait for the next dose, but for now i’m grateful for the familiar slowed lull that is teranga…

Women in Lesotho and the (Western) Construction of Homophobia

Molisa wa NyaKale

This is another repost from a wordpress blog I just discovered, and more, in the words of others, on the subject of queer identity in Africa…you can pull the address from my blog roll…

The following passages have been pulled from the research of Kendall, titled “Women in Lesotho and the (Western) Construction of Homophobia” which was published in the anthology, female desires

“My search for lesbians in Lesotho began in 1992, when I arrived in that small, impoverished African country and went looking for my own kind. That was before the president of nearby Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe, himself mission-educated, declared moral war on homosexuality and insisted that homosexuality was a ‘Western’ phenomenon imported into Africa by the colonists. When I left Lesotho two and a half years later, I had not found a single Mosotho who identified herself as a lesbian. However, I had found widespread, apparently normative erotic…

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